Emotions get the better of us, it doesn't matter who you are, or what you do for a job. Although being an EA and getting emotional can some days go hand in hand (it doesn't matter what day of the month it might be!). With the stress we must endure day in day out, often our emotions will often peak way above the line and well into the 'not coping' red zone. In our jobs, stress and emotion is just the norm, but it's how we handle our emotions that make the difference. There are a million articles out there about 'emotional intelligence', and especially the art of emotional intelligence as an EA, but this isn't about that. This blog is about how to keep your own emotions in check, and not necessarily about how to be emotionally sensitive to other people. In times of stress emotions can run high, for you and for others, but its important you keep a cool head, even if you're dying on the inside. We all experience days where we come home, fall in a heap and ball our eyes out. Whether it be as a result of something someone has said or just because you've had enough, we all just have those days! But its essential that these emotions remain at home and are not surfaced when you're at work. In my eyes it's pretty simple, if you want to kill your reputation as an EA, then have a boo hoo at work. Although I will always be there for my counterparts in their time of need, if the waterworks come as a result of a work issue, my respect usually follows them out the door that day (and if anyone else witnesses them in that state their respect for them will no doubt follow suit). Now I'm not talking about personal crisis here, I'm talking about falling to pieces over something that has happened at work or to do with work. As EA's we need to be stronger than that. So when something is said or done where you find yourself choking in the throat and your chin has started to quiver, remember these 6 tips to ensure you keep a consistent and brave front.
1. Stay Rational, keep your cool and cry later: This might be easier said than done, but its the first rule when emotions start to run high. If you're a professional, which we all are, you will do your best to keep it together. If it helps, you must remember that no one is really out to hurt you in business. If things are said and done that do hurt you, they are usually unintentional, and if they're not then know in your heart that the person that is causing you the angst will probably not last very long in the company. Things do not go unnoticed, always remember that. That applies to for you too.
2. Take a walk and breath: It doesn't matter how busy it is, whatever it is you're working on can wait. Your mental state is more important than anything. So take a walk, have a lie down in your car, mediate in a quiet room somewhere, just do something to switch off whilst you lower your stress and emotion. If you need to talk to someone, choose someone who you don't work with, someone who is external to your company. The last thing you need to add to your woes is gossip (and we all know how much EAs can gossip!). Whether you take 10 mins, or a full hour, stay on call if need be for your boss, but switch off (mentally) to everything else. If you don't have your state of mind in this job, then you've haven't got much at all. It's very difficult to support other people when you haven't got your sh*t together (excuse my French). So take some time away, breath and get it together.
3. Don't fight with people: If emotions are peaking, voices are starting to raise then try to bring the conflict to a resolution straight away. Be the bigger person, even if you know you're right, and present a resolution rather than continuing to argue your point. You can cry and bitch (to someone externally) about it later.
4. So the tears have come. What now?: Clean yourself up and BLAME IT ON SOMETHING ELSE! Don't start blabbing to everyone around you about what happened and why the waterworks have come. The last thing you want is to get yourself a reputation for being unstable, unable to handle conflict or for just being someone who cries for no reason at all! People will talk so think carefully about what you say to the people around you.
5. Pause before action: When you're upset with your boss, or whomever it may be that's caused you to be upset, think long and hard about it before choosing to discuss it with them. Although you might feel passionate about it at that very moment, no doubt what you are feeling WILL pass. If you chose to corner them and discuss it immediately you may very well end up creating a lot of unnecessary awkwardness for no reason at all. Although its said, if you've got a problem with someone its best to talk to them about it rather than someone else, I'm a firm believer that in business that is not always the case. Think before you speak, to anyone, them or HR. You may end up creating more drama, and more conflict than necessary.
6. Don't always listen to others: My advice is the exception to the rule here of course! But seriously, I'm talking specifically here about those that want to jump in and give you advice when the see your choking or crumbling. Other people's advice isn't always the right approach and it may end up landing you in further hot water than what you already are. The best thing to do is give yourself reflection time, let the immediate emotion pass before you decide or saying or doing anything further. As I mentioned in the previous point, chances are it will all blow over, whether it be in a day or a week, it will pass.....I promise!
My last piece of advice is if you can't pull it together at all then just go home! There is no point being there if you are no good to anyone, especially your boss. NOBODY needs to know why you are leaving early though, make up some excuse, go home, get the emotion out of your system and gain some perspective. Our Mother's are always right when they say 'a good night's sleep cure's all'. Ok well it may not 'cure all', but it will definitely ease the pain, lighten the emotion and prepare you better to front up well and strong the next day. And if it means going home and having a wine (or five) or cuddling your dog until they're sure they are a human child, then so be it! Just do what you have to do.
I've seen it happen before in front of my very eyes, EA's that get carried away with their emotions and take whatever it is that has happened to the absolute extreme. And do you know what happened to those EAs? The ended up JOBLESS! Nothing is worth making that much of a scene over that it annihilates your reputation and you end up back searching Seek forced to search for an alternative. If you do end up in such a tizzy though that you cannot pull it together, take some time off in the form of annual leave, recharge the batteries and gain some further perspective. Then come back ready and willing to take on the next chapter of excitement (and emotion!). Our jobs will never be dull, never be emotionless, and never be without stress, but it's how we manage it that makes us good EAs......remember that.
4. So the tears have come. What now?: Clean yourself up and BLAME IT ON SOMETHING ELSE! Don't start blabbing to everyone around you about what happened and why the waterworks have come. The last thing you want is to get yourself a reputation for being unstable, unable to handle conflict or for just being someone who cries for no reason at all! People will talk so think carefully about what you say to the people around you. 
My last piece of advice is if you can't pull it together at all then just go home! There is no point being there if you are no good to anyone, especially your boss. NOBODY needs to know why you are leaving early though, make up some excuse, go home, get the emotion out of your system and gain some perspective. Our Mother's are always right when they say 'a good night's sleep cure's all'. Ok well it may not 'cure all', but it will definitely ease the pain, lighten the emotion and prepare you better to front up well and strong the next day. And if it means going home and having a wine (or five) or cuddling your dog until they're sure they are a human child, then so be it! Just do what you have to do.