I don't usually write my blogs about my own personal experiences but I've decided in this blog to hone in on something I'm going through on this occasion, because from one EA to thousands of others (being all of you lovely followers), I know you're all going to be able to relate to this feeling I'm having.......
In a role that can be unexplainably busy with a lot of 'flow flow flows', and sometimes little to no 'ebbs', you can sometimes find yourself wondering where you actually get the stamina to do your job? Or worse still, you start wondering where you're going to get the stamina to in fact keep doing your job, especially during times of high stress!! I'm sure you've all been in a similar situations before where you come home after somehow ending up in a full day of meetings (which isn't that common in our often desk-bound jobs) only to find yourself switching your laptop back on to catch up on the 250 emails that you didn't get around to answering because you'd been pulled into these raft of meetings that you were 'required to sit in'. Sound familiar? And at particularly busy times of the year these occasional days of endless meetings followed by countless emails to catch up on at night, can turn from the odd occasion to becoming your normal routine that you find yourself in for weeks on end, if not months, whilst you try to keep on top of your workload. But the wonder woman/men that we are, we keep going, burning the candle at both ends, not wanting to fall behind, not wanting to disappoint, or God forbid putting ourselves in a situation where we are so behind that we actually have to speak up and say we aren't coping! None of us ever want to paint ourselves as being incompetent, or worse still not strong enough to deal with what we're being asked to do. But as organised as we are, and as cool and as calm as we try to be, occasionally we do feel like we are going to crack!
So today I want to give you all some advice around this particular scenario when you feel like you're hitting your breaking point, and I include myself for this advice too! Because it's common sense, but common sense that sometimes needs to be spelt out to you, before you start to dissolve into anxiety and panic.
Perhaps you've started a new job and you are just not keeping up or getting it?; perhaps you're managing a project or event that you're expected to deliver on top of your every day responsibilities?; or you're temporarily looking after another Exec/Manager for whatever reason?; or perhaps you've got things going on in your personal life that are taking away from you keeping on top of what would be your normal workload that you could normally do with your eyes closed? Whatever the situation is, you start to think, "I've bitten off more than I can chew!". That little voice in your head starts to take over and start asking you, "well how one earth are you going to manage all this? or get all of this done?". And this voice isn't just one that likes to rear its ugly head when we get busy with work, it also likes to frequent our heads when our personal lives get too much too. But it's how we respond to that voice that is key. So what do you do? As you start to spiral into a panic there are some things that you can do to take back the control of the situation. Because this is what it's all about right?......control. As Assistants we all have something in common, and that is that we generally are all 'control freaks'. And to me, that's not a bad thing. The world needs control freaks, otherwise things just wouldn't get done! But when we feel like we are losing control, that's when things can start to go pear shaped. So I've listed some steps below that I think we all should consider when we start to spiral into that 'I've bitten off more than I can chew' mode.
So first and foremost you need to:
1. STOP!
When you are feeling a sense of being so overwhelmed it's time to stop what you're doing and walk away for a breather. You cannot produce good quality work when your stress levels are peaking, so it's important to walk away and regain your composure. Take a walk; have a glass of wine; or go and have a chat/vent with a friend or family member (try to avoid talking to work colleagues if possible just to ensure you keep your reputation in good form). The idea is to just pause, so you can get it together. The last thing you want is to actually end up in tears or in a tizz where you end up doing or saying something you'll regret, all because the stress just got to your head.
2. Re-asses and prioritise
When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's time to prioritise what you've got to do and when. We all know that when we look at our to-do-list from a holistic view it can make us literally feel weak at the knees and have us start to doubt whether we've actually got the capacity, time and energy to do it all. So make a list, prioritise what's important, what needs to be done now and what can wait. Never feel like it's all got to be done now or on this very day, but what I will say is if you can knock off a whole lot of small stuff to make you feel better about the 'size' of the list, then by all means do that. And if that means one night allocating 3-4 hours to just to 'knock off' some tasks, then do it! Or if you can work from home one day, just so you don't get bothered or pre-occupied with other priorities, then do that too.
3. Communicate
I seriously feel like a broken record sometimes when I harp on about communication, but essentially it's really important when you start to feel overwhelmed to start communicating. Don't ever feel shameful because you think that you aren't coping. If you are seriously being pushed to your limits, then it's time to have a conversation with your manager. Obviously though some busy periods, events or projects are just 'busy times' and we just need to get through them, but if you don't speak up you may not get the opportunity to be offered some help that you wouldn't normally get it if you didn't ask. If you don't ask, you don't get.....simple. And if even if your manager can't help you from a workload perspective, at least if you told them where you're at from a workload/stress point of view then in turn your credibility will go up as you've actually had the maturity to talk to them about it rather than bottle it up and potentially implode.
4. Get some perspective
It's time for a reality check.....you are only one person and you can only do what you can do. So stop putting so much pressure on yourself as Assistants' so frequently do, and take a chill pill. There is always going to be a light at the end of the tunnel, so when you feel like the world is starting to crumble around you, reassure yourself that there will be an end. And if you can't reassure yourself, tell someone else to tell you!
5. Plan time off
I think regardless of whether you're in a busy phase or not, its super important to have holidays or time off planned throughout the year, for your own sanity's sake. We are all given 20 days leave for a reason, so it's important to make plans throughout the year to take these days off. And not just a day here and a day there, ensure you plan to take at least a week off at any given time so you can actually rejuvenate yourself and get the down time you need. Not to mention, holidays actually can be that thing you look forward to and can be that 'light at the end of the tunnel' that you really do need when things get crazy.
Lastly I want to say one final thing - when people get stressed and overloaded with work the number one piece of advice you will commonly hear from others will be:
1. Just chill out
2. Meditate or practise mindfulness
3. Exercise
4. Don't drink or indulge in any unhealthy behaviours
Those pieces of advice are all very well but seriously when you're an EA/PA and you actually have serious responsibilities that you must deliver on, you just don't have time to go and pop off to the gym for a 2 hour work out, or sit under a tree and meditate for an hour a day......you've actually have got things to do! The key is regaining your composure and reigning in your stress by actually re-organising yourself. But by all means if you can re-organise yourself to allow yourself to go and workout every day for 2 hours and do everything that you need to, then hats off to you, but you have to do what works for you.
So you're all probably wondering why I'm feeling like I've bitten off more than I can chew at the moment, so I'll let you in on a little secret.......On top of my day job, that I normally manage with ease, I'm currently going through the motions of rebuilding 'Who's the Real Boss' and moving it off the Blogger platform and transforming it into a hub/platform that you can all visit and subscribe to and share in my passion of this extraordinary role that we all do and my dedication to transform the perception of the EA/PA role to ensure its a great job for all of us that do it. On top of that there are also some other things that I'm working on that I will announce to you all when I do launch my new website, and its something that I do hope that you will all join me in celebrating when it launches. But stay tuned for all of that, and I'll do my very best to take my own advice here and try not to implode with stress whilst I'm trying to organise it all! :)
Labels: Advice
