There are many elements that contribute to building a solid relationship between an executive and their assistant. Trust, loyalty, honesty, communication, visibility and respect are just some of the those pillars that prop up relationships, regardless of whether they're of the workplace or of the heart. But just like making a cake, if you leave out just one ingredient, it's likely you'll have a pretty average tasting cake on your hands. And the exec/assistant relationship is no different. If one of those elements is missing, the result will be a pretty average working rapport, which is less than ideal for both parties involved. But some of the elements, similar to the ingredients in a cake, carry more weight and more importance than others. Like the flour in a cake, for example, trust would have to be the most significant element of all in a working relationship. And if trust is absent, like flour being left out of a cake, you quite literally are going to have a hot mess on your hands!
The impact of trust being absent in a relationship will always ultimately deem it ineffective and inefficient. If an exec doesn't trust their EA in what they ask of them, then they often will feel the need to micro-manage their every move, which in effect is a complete waste of everyone's time. And when the role of the EA is to lighten the load of the executive, it bears the question why they have an assistant in the first place. Understandably though sometimes exec's do deal with matters so sensitive that it is risky to share, but an assistant should be seen as a confidant, and a locked lipped partner - not someone who you're taking a gamble on by sharing these issues with them. But if you've never given them a reason not to trust you, then it can be doubly as frustrating as you can see that their reservations obviously stem from fear that if something should leak that it would reflect poorly on them. But the fact of the matter is, trust should not have to be earned by an EA, it should be given. And only, if only, that trust is broken then caution should be exercised.
As a rule of thumb, all executives, regardless of their beliefs and working style, should trust their assistant from the get go, and by all means give their EA the benefit of the doubt, always. But unfortunately this is not always the case, and time and time again I have assistants coming to me with complaints that their managers are keeping them in the dark on business priorities, that in turn are hindering them from doing their job. Or worse still, many assistants share with me stories on how they're followed up and questioned multiple times on tasks delegated to them, that they have in fact already actioned or completed. The reality is though that it's the EAs responsibility to manage their own workload, not the exec's job to manage it for them! So not only is behaviour like this frustrating for the assistant, it's detrimental to the relationship overall.
So what if you find yourself in this situation of not being trusted? Perhaps your exec doesn't keep you in the loop on things, or the don't communicate things to you to be able to do your job efficiently? Or maybe they don't give you full access to their inbox, hindering you from being able to support them completely? Unfortunately if your exec is one of those managers that doesn't just trust you from the get go, you will need to go through the motions to prove your trustworthiness. Now I don't necessarily agree with this at all, as it my belief that all execs should give their assistant's the benefit of the doubt straight up and only if there is a breach in trust, should they then act with caution. But never the less there are those managers out there that want you to prove your trustworthiness, so you'll need to think about implementing the following steps in order to improve the relationship:
1. Take notes and be organised
Often others will trust you more if they physically see you writing things down. So even if what their asking of you is something so basic or easy to remember, do them the service of writing it down or typing it on to your to do list so they trust that you will actually do what they've asked of you.
2. Establish your ways of working
A plan of the way you will work is always essential in any working relationship with your exec, even if you don't have trust issue. But when you do, its doubly as important and similar to the previous point - if they know the process that you go through to deliver on tasks that they delegate to you, they will in turn have more trust. So sit down and work out a tracking system on how they will delegate to you and how they will know once tasks have been completed. Basically allow them to train you in the way that they want to work. This should hopefully alleviate those annoying follow ups that the micro-managing-managers feel the need to do.
3. Ask questions and seek clarity
Sometimes when you're asked to do something the delegator will have more confidence that you understand what they're asking of you if you in fact ask them questions or ask them for further clarity. Blank stares and silence doesn't put a lot of faith in managers when they ask things of you, so sometimes its best just to talk it through so they understand that you understand. Similarly ensure that they are clear with you with their instructions and their expectations, and if you feel they're not doing that, then be prepared to speak up and seek them out.
4. Give updates
Like in any relationship communication is really important. So when tasks are delegated to you its important to provide updates on where things are at, but mainly to show them more than anything that you're all over it, you're competent and you're capable of what's been asked of you. This also gives you an opportunity to seek feedback and keep the communication lines open.
5. Be honest
The same as in romantic and personal relationships, if you don't have honesty then you don't have trust. So fess up on things that perhaps have gone wrong either currently or in the past, and just keep the communication lines open and flowing. Keep in mind that you are only human, and although we seem be super women/men sometimes, everyone makes mistakes and mistakes are there to be learnt from. And if you're a new or junior assistant, suggest to your boss that they drip feed you information to you, so that they gradually build trust with you. More than anything things like this will create more credibility for yourself which in turn should create trust.
6. Speak up
If you want to be in one of those perfect EA/exec relationships where the exec looks to you as their business partner and values your opinion and even seeks it out, you actually need to be prepared to speak up. So when you're not feeling things are right, or you are feeling that things could be better, talk about it and speak up. Silence really gets you know where and if you want anything to change in your relationship you need to be prepared to talk about it.
7. Push to be a priority
If you feel like you're not a priority in your manager's life then this is something you're going to need to need to push for and persevere with. Schedule one on ones in their calendar weekly or daily, even if they get cancelled. You need to demonstrate your commitment to them and your loyalty and trust in them! Lead by example and hope that they will follow suit.
Although my blogs are always pointed at assistants and what they can do to better themselves, sometimes I do hope that the odd executive or manager does stumble across my articles and enlightens themselves on some of the things we all are trying to do collectively to better ourselves professionally. And if you are an exec that is reading this and you do struggle with trust and you find yourself micromanaging your assistant, let me remind you that your energy is better spent on projects and decisions that only you are capable of doing, rather than overseeing and micromanaging your assistant on things that they're more than capable of doing. You must remember that you hired them for a reason, and you saw something in them that was credible. So allow them to be the best assistant they can be by opening up to them and operating as a partnership, rather than concealing things from them and making life difficult for the both of you.
Labels: Advice
