For those of you that read last week's blog ~EA's managing EA's: The key to building strong relationships~ you'd be aware that it formed the first part of a two part post on the challenges we face when managing our own kind. With the first post dedicated to all EA's that are in a position of management or leadership, this week I flip the coin and talk about what it can be like for the assistants on the other side of the fence who are being managed (or mis-managed) by another assistant. For some, the head EA they work under is inspiring and supportive, but for others it's not always a harmonious situation. The reality is, when you have to work underneath or alongside another EA, they will often have a view on the way you conduct your job, even thinking that they could do it a whole lot better than you.
In the EA profession, controlling personalities are a common trait, and when two controlling types come together it can be less than ideal, but unfortunately a common problem. But alas, we aren't all controlling types! There are in fact many EA managers that could care a less what their EA team are doing, how they are feeling or how things are being managed. This too can also impact relationships, leaving team assistants feeling isolated, alone and without any leadership. The fact of the matter is there are many EA's out there in positions of leadership that all have different management styles, some without any management style at all. Not always intentional, sometimes when we get bogged down in the mechanics of our job, we can do things without realising it, unintentionally making others lives difficult, and all because we like things a certain way. But that's not to say that things can't change, management styles can be improved, and most importantly the comradery between assistant's can be upped.
I've listed below some of the common 'types' of EA managers/leaders that have been described to me and that I've also come across in my time, all of which have styles that are less than ideal - and I'll refer to them as 'mis-managers'. And although you may feel that it's them that need to change, short of them reading last week's blog, the fact is that change might be a long time coming. But that's not to say that you can't influence their style and put in place some strategies to improve the situation and ultimately improve the relationship between yourself and them.
The 'I want to be across everything you're doing' manager
Commonly this is the manager that thinks that their way is the better way, they have little trust in your ability and as a result want to be across or be copied in on anything and everything that you do. Most refer to this type as the 'micro-manager'. Whilst this is frustrating there is a strategy and approach you can take here that should soon enough put them back in their box - they want to know everything you're doing? then show them everything you're doing! Meet with them daily, copy them on every email, and frequent their desk to give them updates. Eventually they'll get so bombarded that they'll want you to stop. Either that or you'll actually prove yourself straight up and the requirement will become redundant. The message here is simple, just give them what they want. I know some of you may not agree with this approach and are probably thinking just talk to them about it, but I tend to disagree. Don't ever tell an experienced assistant how to do their job. It will only sour the relationship and annoy them more. The goal here is to improve your working relationship, not aggravate it further.
The 'I could care a less about you' manager
Have you ever worked underneath another assistant who could care a less about leading their team and providing any guidance or mentorship? Their focus lay solely with their manager, and their manager only. Perhaps they don't see it as their role to lead you, perhaps they're too busy, or perhaps they just don't like you! So what do you do?! Similar to the previous point, you can't tell your senior assistant how to do their job, but you can drop subtle hints and implement some strategies to create some formality between you. The most obvious way to build on the relationship is to ask them for advice; ask them for tips on how to deliver something; or ask them to meet with you to review particular projects that you've been asked to work on. Another great way to light the fire underneath them is to suggest ideas on things that they can do as a team; suggest improvements to processes; or simply take the lead and initiate some EA team meetings or social catch ups. Now this may not always be received well, and sometimes be pushed back on time and time again. But my best piece of advice here is just to persist. If you repeat something enough the message will get through and eventually they will have a light bulb moment and realise what it is you're trying to achieve.
The 'I don't know how to manage' manager
Similar to the previous point, when you think there is room for improvement, and in this case because the EA manager doesn't actually know how an effective team manager should operate, it's acceptable for you to drop some subtle hints. I think in this scenario too, it's actually acceptable for you to have a conversation with them about it. Be subtle and gentle and simply suggest things that you all could be doing as a team that would improve the team dynamic. Don't point fingers or come across in an attacking way, but rather say that it would be good to see for example, a monthly EA meeting implemented, or it would be great if we could have a one on one each week, etc. Depending on their previous experience they just may not realise the expectations on them, or perhaps they've never worked underneath another assistant before which would give them nothing to model themselves on.
The 'I'm too busy' manager
As assistants we are all busy, that's a given. But when recruited into a senior EA role, things can get especially rough with an increased workload and increased hours of work. And although EA's in these positions know they should be leading and managing their team they just struggle to find the time. But the fact is, it's part of their role and it's something that must be done. That's not to say though that certain parts of the management role can't be delegated and outsourced to other assistants within the team. My suggestion here is to simply offer to help them, either with their normal workload, or with some of the management responsibilities. If you can free them up a little it will leave more time for them to be there for you. Most importantly if you do meet frequently and have EA meetings, ensure the actions/outputs of the meeting are delegated out evenly and not all left to the head EA for action. Similarly when the EA team is asked to tackle larger projects/events together, make sure the responsibilities are distributed out evenly. When in a position of EA leadership its not uncommon for you to be approached first to manage larger tasks and consequently you are left doing it all. If these things can be tackled though as a team it should improve the workload of the lead EA, allowing them to have more time to support their assistants.
The 'I'm more senior than you' manager
This last type of manager essentially is one of those EA's that perceive themselves as being a lot more senior than everyone else and will either want to control your every move or want to weigh in and comment on everything you do, just to reinstate their position of seniority. Unfortunately in our field these personality types can be quite common and generally because these EA's feel the need to boost themselves by bringing others down. Whether they actually doubt your ability or they just have a chip on their shoulder, unfortunately this is the type of manager you just need to prove your worth to. Kill them with kindness I say, and then kill them with efficiency second to that! Similar to my advice for the micro-manager, involve them in everything you're doing and prove your worth. Above all just be the person that you want them to be. Don't get your nose out of joint because of the way they act, as clearly there are some deep seated psychological issues there around their own self worth that they feel the need to counter. Use the mirror strategy and whether they change or they don't, feel confident in yourself that you are conducting yourself in the best possible way. Truth be told, you probably wouldn't want a person like that managing you anyway!
Never feel that you are trapped when working under another assistant that has a poor management style or that is micro or mis-managing you. Don't just go home each night in tears hoping that tomorrow will bring her resignation or worse still that she'll get hit by a bus! There are always things that can be done to improve the situation and their management style, no matter how bad or bitchy things can be. Lead by example, be the EA that you want them to be, rally the other assistants in your team to do the same, and in time the management situation should hopefully improve.
Labels: Advice
